Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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