all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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