Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
Acid is not a monday night drug
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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