If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
It was a blind-side dick pic.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize
