My hand turned me down
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
