i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Randomize