If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
