K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
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