the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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