I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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