Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
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