If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
