Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
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