I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Randomize