If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
