Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
