Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
