Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
i think we sleep fucked last night...
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
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