i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Randomize
