Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize
