WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
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