Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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