He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
