then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
