There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
