Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
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