Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize
