Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
