I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Sorry about my life...
Randomize
