it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
