carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
You smell like stripper and shame
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
