I wanna bring you to show and tell
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Randomize
