Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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