Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
So gin and wine won't be happening again
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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