and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
either way he was missing a nipple.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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