woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Randomize
