Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Randomize
