I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
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