I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize
