My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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