i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
