Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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