ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
