Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Randomize
