I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
