I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
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