a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
