Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
