Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
Tell her she can't have a vagina
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Randomize
