My first STD was from a foam party
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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