ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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