I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Randomize