But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
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