Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Randomize
