That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize
