He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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