I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
