just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Randomize
