so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
