Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
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