I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Randomize
