The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Randomize
