I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Randomize
