i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
