is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
