Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
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